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Patrick is the one and Owen-ly for El Tel
The sight of Wayne Rooney powering past prone opponents to create a winning goal for Michael Owen this summer seems more likely thanks to an Epsom schoolboy and his new friends.
Patrick Roche, nine, has been chosen to represent England in a "mini" football team set to captivate TV audiences throughout June.
His main qualifications: he is short and bears a striking resemblance to Owen, the £17million Newcastle United forward.
Patrick is not alone, as the 23 squad members are all child lookalikes for present England international footballers. Among their ranks are a diminutive David Beckham, a pygmy Peter Crouch and a less than gigantic Joe Cole.
The team has been formed for a television advertising campaign to launch Birds Eye Fish Finger Minis before the World Cup. In the fish baron's dugout will be Terry Venables, making a shock return as England coach after ten years.
He told the Epsom Guardian: "This really has been one of the toughest jobs I've had as a football manager - and the first time I've chosen players on looks.
"It's my great pleasure to announce that Patrick will be in my final 23, as his likeness to Owen is uncanny. Just like Sven, I'm keeping my lips sealed about who should be the final 11, but the ad should be a cracker."
Patrick, a St Joseph's RC Primary School pupil with his metatarsals intact, beat thousands of applicants aged between six and 12 to become the other face of Michael Owen. He will make the starting line-up only if the public judges him to be a worthy double.
Vote for Patrick at www.fish-finger-mini-england.co.uk
9:25am Tuesday 23rd May 2006
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